I so couldn`t give a fuck more !








but in my head there`s this song that keeps sayin` "I couldn`t love you more ... "

Etichete: fuck, Thoughts

I was just thinking about how time passes .. and we don`t even notice .. But if we take a second and think about it .. we see how most of the things have changed ..

It`s like .. you`re this cute puffy yellow duckling, and time is like the wind always blowing in your face .. Sometimes it knocks you back, it being stronger, and you`re just a poor ducky .. but you have to get up and try to move on .. And slowly your fluffy exterior gets blown away, piece by piece, lost in time, unveiling your first feathers .. And still, moving on, at some point .. you`ll stop, look at yourself and see that everything around you changed .. The fluffy ball that you once were will only remain a fading memory ..

Anyway, I just wanted to post a quote form a beautiful movie that I MUST see again, sometime soon ... The Shawshank Redemption .. But apparently I ended up talking about some other thing .. again .. :) ..

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

Etichete: Thoughts

When the truth is found to be lies .. and all the joy inside you dies ..

this lyrics keep following me .. they are not only in my head, they were with me last night .. Saw things in a way, everything was almost ok .. woke up to one reality, and a few hours later it turned out to be .. completely different .. everything gets fucked up .. including you .. How the FUCK do you even have the nerve .. to ask "don`t you want somebody to love" .. Who in his right mind would want that ? .. I just want to get the fuck away from everything, and she`s all like "you`d better find somebody to love" .. Isn`t that ironic ? .. Don`t you think ? A little too ironic .. (see the lyrics in a previous entry) .. Too many ironic stuff goin` on ..
Don`t even know what to say .. Just like in that movie, Antenna .. it`s like someone stole my words .. then dried them up and sold them as cookies from door to door.. Wouldn`t that be a hell of an idea ? .. I think I`ll just buy the 18+ boxes .. More "fuck off"s there, and "leave me the fuck alone" .. Maybe a bunch of "i don`t fucking care", "don`t give a shit anymore".. Actually, I`d like a few of them boxes of "fuck".. I`ll manage with just that word

I miss dancing on the beach .. :( .. No lies there .. no bullshit, just you, the breeze, the waves.. the sand that gets absolutely everywhere .. and a lot of people having fun .. You don`t like someone there, well .. doesn`t matter .. you`ll probably never see him again.. You like someone ? .. Well .. you`ll probably see him every year :) You`ll just have a lot of time to be free .. of worries, of everything .. a lot of time to dream .. Dream about making your room a little sand box, with fishing nets and sea shells.. Sleeping on your own private beach every night, looking at the moon through your window .. and dreaming .. (yea .. gotta love that idea of Vlad.. although I laughed, I still can`t wait to see your dream come real.. go for it !) .. But some dreams just remain dreams, and they make you happy by just .. being there .. in your head ..



.. I am sorry ..












.. sorry .. forgot the answer .. NO !

Etichete: fuck, Thoughts

ey, haven`t posted anything in a few days. I said I`ll post some quotes of the day, but .. I haven`t :P .. so .. here are some quotes for the previous days :) ..
- said by some friends to me:
"it`s like I`m dating the male you"
"da de fapt nici nush de ce vb cu tine, ca tu esti fata"
- by me:
"o inconstienta de`aia mai constienta"
I had a few more but didn`t write them down so .. I forgot :D ..

oh yeah .. a special feature quote..

"She`s talking anout what happened. That`s huge. You did good.
Everyone is gonna tell you that`s what we got to make her do. We gotta help her right ? Except we can`t .. we drag out her story, we tell each other that we help her heal, and feel really good about ourselfs .. but all we`ve done is make a girl cry .. "

In an other order of business, I`ve been out takin` some pictures.. of pigeons !

Mutley, you snickering, floppy eared hound.
When courage is needed, you're never around.
Those medals you wear on your moth-eaten chest
Should be there for bungling at which you are best.

So, stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Howwww!

Nab him
Jab him
Tab him
Grab him
Stop that pigeon now.

You, silly, stop snickering, it's not worth the chance.
For you'll be returned by the seat of your pants.
And clunk, you invent me a thingamabob
That catches that pigeon or I lose my job.

So, stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Stop that pigeon
Howwww!

Nab him
Jab him
Tab him
Grab him
Stop that pigeon now.

.. hihi .. don`t you just love the old cartoons ? :D

OK, so this entry is getting really really long :) .. I think you`re gettin` bored.
It was a nice day, got a bit of sunburn on my nose, and my arms .. but it`s ok, cause my skin is still hangin` on .. So people, better not leave the house without sun screen, cause that sun`s a killer :P ..
Oh, almost forgot, to mention my friend Ada, and her Birthday .. Happy Birthday ! >:D< .. Hope you had a great one ;) .. the weather sure smiled for you today :D .. and last but not least .. why that entry title ? .. Just myself .. just a walk .. After the pigeon hunt and a glass of ice tea in Flowers, me and Vio went out separate ways, to our shady homes.. Got my music playin`, and started heading to the buss station. I was looking at my phone, trying to write a nice sms for Ada .. and I just got disconnected. Disconnected from the world, disconnected from my thoughts, from the people walking by me, from the noise in the street, from my feet, from my body, from everything .. I couldn`t feel myself, I couldn`t feel anything surrounding me, not the sun, not the wind, nothing .. I could only hear music, and everything was peaceful .. kept on walking by instinct .. it was like I was walking with my eyes closed. Such a great fuckin` feeling .. When I got to the post office, I realized what just happened .. and .. I was full of joy, full of happiness .. Dunno .. I just felt like no one could reach me, like I`m in another world, and I can do anything .. Felt like dancing all the way to the bus station, but I didn`t :P .. Maybe next time I will ! .. Oh yea, forgot to say I didn`t get enough sleep last night, so maybe I was just sleepwalking :)) .. Free hugs to everybody, and have a peaceful, chilly sleep ;) Maybe I`ll tell you about some of my weird dreams tomorrow .. Gn ! .. song of the day ..

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Alanis Morissette - Ironic

Etichete: Thoughts

.. ok .. so .. I haven`t really been respecting my own rule, with posting daily .. doesn`t matter .. I always do that (not on purpose) ..

.. haven`t done a lot today, but I`ve done a few things yesterday, but I`m too lazy to spit them out here now .. The most important things are that Adi had his festivities, he finally finished high school. And I got a Happy Meal .. a really happy one ! .. so my new friend is Mr. Gingerbread Man :D .. he talks .. and waves .. but that`s yesterdays tale :P .. so .. congrats sweet cuz >:D< and thanks ;) ..

.. as for today, I found a new song that I love .. Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky .. it`s so peaceful, I can`t get enough of it. It`s from House MD Soundtrack. I still have a season left to see. :)

I started learning for my exam. It`s ok, I understand the shit but .. it`s too damn hot to learn, and I lose interest when I see that every course has 30 pages .. Oh well, I still have time. But it`s nice and interesting. Object Oriented Programming. The interesting funny thing I learned is that "B is a friend of A if it has access to the private members of A" .. it`s about classes, so don`t get any funny ideas ;) ..

Yesterday, I thought about death some more .. cause I had a discussion with a friend. I tried to encourage him to have faith in himself, and to think that everything will be ok eventually, cause we all have our ups and downs, and of course, I gave him arguments that will work with him, cause he`s a man of faith. So I tried a God approach. He told me I`ve made him so happy. I asked why .. He said that it`s because of hearing me talk that way. Cause only protestants talk that way, or people in search of God ...
So I thought .. there`s no right or wrong, in some cases. I`m not talking about crimes or murder or anything. I`m talking about points of view, ideas .. You can`t impose your own opinion to people. It`s all about the arguments. It`s all about proving your point. I found myself finding PRO arguments for stuff I don`t believe in, or I don`t totally agree with. But, I used the arguments that I knew will win my "case". So, there`s no black or white .. it`s all gray. Depends what you wanna prove, that is a dark gray or a white gray. :)
I often tend to be right. I`m once in a while wrong, but most of the times I`m right. Maybe it`s not cause I`m so well documented. Cause frankly, I`m not. I think I just push my opinion, and .. give a right argument for it. It doesn`t matter that sometimes, two days later, I stumble upon something and understand I wasn`t exactly right. But still, most of the times, I am :)) .. it`s not always fun, cause I see what`s coming my way sooner than I should ..

.. Oh well .. I should stop now .. I just wanted to say that talkin` to Alvaro (at last !) about Googles Gadgets, and Einsteins Quote of The Day ( iGoogle (what do you know, it`s all about the i`s these days, iPod, iRan, iRack, iMBored) - try it) he said he should have his own Quote of The Day. So .. why shouldn`t I ? :P .. It`ll be fun, to remember stuff I said a week ago, a month ago, a year ago.. :)
I`m gonna start quote of the day tomorrow, cause I don`t remember what I said today :)

May we all have a chilly night ;)

Etichete: Thoughts

.. There are so many times when I wonder "why even bother if I feel that it`s all in vain ?" .. but then .. I know it wouldn`t be me if I didn`t .. It wouldn`t be me if I wouldn`t care so much about everything surrounding me, if I wouldn`t try to fix everything .. if I wouldn`t try to be nice and helpful .. It would just be the world, the environment changing me. But that`s just easy .. giving in .. A lot of people do that ..

.. No Need To Argue - The Cranberries ..

There's no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore.
And the thing that makes me mad,
Is the one thing that I had,

I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

And I remember all the things we once shared,
Watching T.V. movies on the living room armchair.
But they say it will work out fine.
Was it all a waste of time.

'Cause I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

Will I forget in time, ah,
You said I was on your mind?
There's no need to argue,
No need to argue anymore.
There's no need to argue anymore.



.. oh yea .. a Happy Happy Birthday too Danii ! >:D< .. at least one good thing today .. and maybe the second good thing will be the movie "Forever Blues" :P ..

Etichete: Thoughts

So .. this is gonna be my blog .. for a while .. hmm ..

I told Vio I`ll write this so she`ll know what`s goin` on in my head, what songs I obsessively listen to, and that I won`t get any funny ideas as to go and strangle myself on the highest tree I find.
Oh well .. maybe I am not wise enough to understand this world well enough to see that killing myself is the better option. :) .. Maybe it`s better this way ..
I wonder if all the philosophers made a bet.. "I bet my words make more people commit suicide than your words" .. Geez .. frankly .. after seeing how many commited suicide .. dunno .. I think they really wanted to pull as many as they could down with them ..
Anyway .. doesn`t matter .. I still don`t understand and don`t wanna keep thinking about why two different girl (yea yea, identical twins, strong bond, lived together, died together, .. I have a few scenarios .. but still .. they are soo .. on a wild side) would kill themselves at the same time. How come one let herself be convinced into this stupid idea, or .. Doesn`t matter .. I`m babbling on and on about this shit .. It`ll end now .. I think .. I`ll never find out anyway .. even if they speculate about it .. it`s still .. not the real deal ..

But still .. Why that stupid song ? .. I keep hearing "I know what I want, and I want it now" .. but .. it just gives me a weird yucky feeling .. whatever .. at least pick a great song if you`re gonna commit suicide :)) .. Like that question that ran around yahoo .. "What song would you want to be played at your funeral ?" .. hmm .. I have a list or somth with answers from some friends.. from 2 or 3 years ago.. Corul national - Il silenzio , Class - Intr-o zi , Prodigy - Molotov bitch , God bless america! , Bed of roses , Ocean Lab - Satellite , Manowar - Carry on , OCS - moksha , Ana Johnson - We Are , Guns - Don`t cry , Come as u are , Godsmack - Voodoo .
I think I chose Eagles - Hotel California ..

Soooo .. the song I annoy my neighbors with this time of month is .. Chicane - No Ordinary Morning .. got it from Noemi .. great song ..

OK so .. in another order of business .. Two more days of TIFF .. I wanna see as many movies as I can, cause after these two days, one more year of waiting .. And who knows what song I might stumble upon till next year ;) .. (I`m just teasing .. I think :-").. I`ll make a list of movies I`ve seen, and a few impressions, after the Festival is over.

Two more exams, I have all the time in the world .. the ruff times have passed .. No more damn deadlines .. Dead .. again .. damn .. :) ..
Some other stuff also goin` on, but I`d rather keep them to myself ..

As for my friends, Adi most of all, good luck with your studies, just a few weeks more and you`ll be a free man ;), Vio, Noemi, Anne and all the other students .. make haste ! :)) (I think that`s from Heroes), and for all you WoW freaks, lvl up, go pwn teh alliance or somth like that :))) .. For the Horde !


.. one last thing I gotta say .. Alvaro come back home ! .. I miss those long weird nonsence chats that can only be procesed by our brains .. cause they really help me get my mind off dead people, losing friends, and stuff like that ..


oh yeah .. P.S. .. I`m starting to fear that I`m gonna trip on some "body" when I get out of the house .. so .. if you are going to kill yourself, please .. do it somewhere more private, not on the side of the road .. where people might see you and get traumas for life .. Thanks, happy afterlife or somth ..

.. and to all a Good Night !

Etichete: Thoughts

Etichete: Thoughts